41 #lifehacks to get you through the dumbest day of the year
Two words for you: Puppy Party!
See how much pizza you can fit in your mouth at one time.
Draft a text to your ex. Then, throw your phone into the nearest river/lake/ocean/toilet.
Go for a walk. Take some deep breaths of fresh air. Walk so far you no longer recognize your surroundings. Then keep walking. Find a motel. Get a job. Start a new life. Never look back.
Check Craigslist missed connections, just to make sure your soulmate isn’t looking for you. Not that you care...
Jam out to Smokey Robinson’s Greatest Heartbreak Hits.
Take up a hobby! Like crocheting or stamp collecting or eating an entire thing of peanut butter M&M’s as fast as you can by yourself.
Ask a stranger to marry you. Can’t hurt.
Eat 2 pounds of potatoes, any style, as long as they are battered & fried.
Make a green juice to counteract the potato coma. Science!
Align all of your chakras - post haste!
Watch a series of YouTube video of baby animals learning to use stairs!
Wear black to mourn the loss of your friends who have found themselves in relationships.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!
See how tightly you can wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket to make a human burrito!
Start a movement that goes viral! #humanburritochallenge
Since you’re single right now, write down some “love goals” for you future partner like “Must be alive” or “Nice”.
Buy yourself something pretty, since no one else will. A little retail therapy never hurt anyone!
Make plans to do something fun with your single friends!
Remember you don’t have any single friends and then make plans to have some fun with some ice cream!
Bro down with your bros, or gal down with your gals. Or just hang out with whoever cause gender norms are dumb.
Netflix & Chill, but actually watch Netflix!
Get yourself to the nearest Cinnabon! You’ll know what to do.
Start a journal! Write down your feelings, hopes, dreams. Then, set that journal on fire.
Get a massage!
Put on some yoga pants and order thai food.
See how long you can scream before someone comes to check on you.
Meditate!
Google image search “baby otters doing stuff”.
Smile at a stranger!
Pour all the cereal you have at home into a giant bowl and eat it dry, one piece at a time.
Get a tattoo of your own name in a heart.
Experience true luxury by feeding yourself grapes right off the vine.
Download Tinder!
Delete Tinder!
Remember to stop and smell the roses...the one’s your friend Brittany got from her boyfriend.
Repeat list until it is tomorrow!
At the end of the day, remind yourself that Valentine’s Day is just a product of the greeting card industrial complex, don’t let it get you down!